Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
