I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
