fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
