Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
