Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I met the friendliest cop last night
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
