We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
