Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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