How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
