Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
