Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
