I smell stomach acid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize