from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think i have two assholes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
