Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
