Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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