Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
