Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
