You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
