u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
