im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
