Acid is not a monday night drug
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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