Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
