i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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