I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
