She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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