if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
