So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
