from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
