Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
