In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
