once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
