It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
