I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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