I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
how can u be prego again
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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