The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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