I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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