I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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