NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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