how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
