6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
