did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
