My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
