im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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