it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
