There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
