As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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