mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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