no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
