Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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