return my video game
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
