Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
