dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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