He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
