I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
