I will die if light touches me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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