You're so nebulous sometimes
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
