Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have feelings that need drinking.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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