Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize