You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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