do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
