benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Blood and glitter go together right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
