you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
