So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
