Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
