Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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