I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
