i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His hands were made for my vagina.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
